Hope in te System
by cassielouwho
Summary: AU in which Coulson adopted Skye at a fairly early age. I just love the the father/ daughter dynamic they have in the show.


Skye Miller accepted at a young age that there would never be a place she could call home. It saved a lot a trouble, but never prevented the tears. Hoping was a hard thing not to do. Hope was easy, and it constantly got the best of her. Maybe it was an age thing. Skye was only elven after all. Still a little girl to the older ones at the orphanage and definitely to the boys. Foster homes were easier because there weren't as many kids, but only just. Foster homes were the worst. Skye never stayed more than three months, and the longer she stayed the more hopeful she became. Hope only lead to heartbreak and tears.

Skye stared at the tops of her ratty old converse. Donated from someone who didn't need them any more and lucky enough to fit her feet. There was nothing to complain about. She had clothes and shoes, lacked on the whole nutrition thing, but Skye knew she was lucky for what she had. Skye hated these days. These were the kind of days that hope started even if she didn't want to. Last night she was told the by the evil care taker, Mrs. North, a foster parent would be coming in the morning. That was all she was told. Mrs. North wasn't one for talking. At least to the kids any way. Now all Skye could do was wait and kick her feet against the edge of the chair.

She watched the clock, but that grew boring all too quickly. Skye thought about walking around the tiny hallway filled with pictures of those who supposedly got adopted. They were supposed to show happiness, but it just filled her stomach with hate. If Mrs. North heard her walking around, she'd surely get yelled at. In front of the supposed foster parent. In the end, Skye decided against it. Usually she pushed the boundaries, but there were times when Skye knew she shouldn't. There weren't many moments like it, though. It was a thought that wasn't as easy to adhere too in actuality. If the two adults didn't hurry soon, she'd be bored. A bored Skye was a scary Skye. A lot of issues came from her being bored.

Just in time, the door to Mrs. North's office creaked open. "Skye." She called. "Come meet Mr. Coulson."

Skye put on the best smile she could manage and got up and walked into the office.

An hour later they were both in his car and driving to his apartment in the city. It was an awkward silence that made Skye squirm.

"So, this is your first time doing the whole fostering thing?'

He glanced over at her from the road. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Why?"

"You're certainly curious." Coulson- Phil said. She wasn't sure what to call him. He hadn't really said much when she was introduced, though, he had managed to keep a smile most of the time. Even when Mrs. North mentioned her behavioral issues. Skye didn't consider them an issue. People found it easy to forget Skye, speaking her mind and fighting back got her noticed. Though, some times it was for the wrong reasons. And sometimes she did it t the wrong times with no reason to seek attention.

"Well, are you going to answer the question?"

"Yes." He laughed. "I am. I wanted to do something good."

"Charity." Skye muttered.

"What?"

"People like you, they have enough that they take in kids. It doesn't last, ever. They get bored with the kids. Just another shopping item that they return."

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "I know the system isn't always the best or the kindest. But I guarantee you that this isn't me just having fun or phase."

Skye just nodded and looked out the window. A lot of people had said that to her before. It felt different with him saying it, like she wanted to believe the words. It was hard to not get hopeful with him already. It was going to be hard with him. Hoping was not an easy thing.

"Dinner?" He asked after a while of driving in silence.

Skye nodded. "Sure, I could use a good burger. I'm starving."

'Well," He grinned. "You're in luck. I know just the place."

"So, this is the place?" Skye asked, sliding into the booth. "It looks like it came out of a movie."

He shrugged. "Who knows? It could have, but this place has the best burgers and shakes that one could dream of."

Twenty minutes later, they're both sucking down chocolate shakes with burgers on their plates.

"Ok," Skye said in between bites. "You are right. These are the best."

He smiled again. He seemed to do that a lot.

"Are you going to tell me where you work?" She asked popping a french fry in her mouth. He frowned at this one.

He rubbed his chin before he answered. "I work for Shield. It's government. I have to travel a lot, but that's the only drawback really. Though, I'm afraid I can't say more." He sighed.

"Really?" Skye frowned. "That's it? There's no fun in that."

"I think you're right."

Skye would play it cool for now, but she'd find out what is was eventually. If she was still around.

"So, um, what am I supposed to call you?" Skye asked, standing in the white walled room. He had said it was her room, with white walls and a plain black furniture. There was even a tiny tv on a stand up against the wall in front of the bed. Though, it wasn't really her room, just a guest room. He didn't have to say it. Skye just knew.

"Phil. Call me Phil. Well, I'll let you get settled. I'm in the next room over, don't hesitate if you need something."

Skye nodded and waited for him to leave. When he was gone, she grabbed her pjs and changed into those first. They weren't really pjs, just an old baggy shirt and gym shirts some foster parent had given her. She unpacked her things, there wasn't much. Many of the drawers in the dresser remained empty. Usually, Skye didn't pack until after the first week in, but hope was happening and it was getting the best of her. She explored the room for a bit. Which turned out to boring there was nothing else except for the black furniture and a Captain America doll she found in the closest. She held it her hands and placed it on the night stand. Had he meant to leave it behind? If she didn't say anything it would look like she had stolen it, and then she'd be kicked out for sure. Unsure, she left it on the small night stand and clicked off the light. She'd give it to him in the morning.

She tried to sleep, she really did. The first night was always the hardest. There were usually other kids who helped just by being there. She had never slept alone before. Not once, there was always another kid in the room with her.

Skye grabbed the doll and tip toed across the dark hallway. She didn't hesitate to push his door open. He wasn't asleep like she had thought. Phil was watching tv, ready for bed, and Skye cringed ready for the yelling. She really should have knocked.

"Hey, Skye." He said sitting up. "You all right? What do you have?"

Skye held up the doll. "I found this. I figured you'd want it back."

Phil laughed and shook his head. "I left that for you. Mrs. North said you're curious. I thought you'd poke around the room a bit."

Skye's eyes widened. "Really? Does that mean I can keep it?"

"Yes." And Skye grinned. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten something meant just for her.

"Thank you." She grinned.

"Did you have trouble sleeping?"

Skye nodded. "I've never slept in my own room." She explained.

That seemed to shock him, it was a moment before he spoke, "Let's go to the living room."

His idea was blankets, dimmed lights, and the tv on. He was on the opposite end of the couch with his own blankets. She was asleep in no time. When she woke in the morning, he was gone from the living room.

"Don't get hopeful." Skye muttered to herself. "It won't last."

Each morning Skye kept telling herself to not get hopeful, but it was getting harder to not be. She was able to sleep in her room now. He had even taken her shopping for clothes. There was only one family to have done that wither her, and when the time had come for her to leave they had kept the clothes. It was a bit awkward for certain clothing items, but he seemed just as excited as she was when they were going through the racks. He showed her his Captain American comics, and promised when his work wasn't as hectic that he'd show them to her the proper way. Skye wasn't quite sure what that meant, but she looked forward to it.

There were two downsides. She had to go to school. Skye started on her third day with him. To say she loving it was to tell a lie. There was no one in her life to go to school for, to come home to with good grades expecting praise. Skye was making an effort to pay attention, do the work, and not talk back. There was just so much she could do. No one had called Phil about her slight troubles yet, so at least there wasn't a major chance to being sent back for slipping grades and a bad attitude.

Phil was true to his word about the travel. Twice a baby sitter had spent a night when he said there was an emergency or a meeting or whatever. She hadn't really paid attention, just knew he was gone. Skye had argued that she could take care of herself. It was true. If Skye knew one thing, it was how to take care of herself. Phil wouldn't let that happen, though.

Skye was supposed to be working on homework, but the tv was just more interesting.

"Don't you have homework?" Phil asked setting down his bag. Skye wasn't sure what it was, a messenger bag or brief case, but she'd find a way to poke fun at it eventually.

"Don't you have friends?" Skye grumbled back and fixed her eyes on the tv.

"Excuse me?"

"What?" Skye said and turned to look at him. "It's a valid question. You don't hang out with anybody else when you're not working. It's always just me and you."

Phil sighed. "Work is a bit busy."

"So, your only friends are at work?"

He laughed. "You could say that."

"Can I meet them? See who business man Phil hangs out with?"

Coulson shook his head. "I'm not saying no, but I like work and personal life seperate."

"So, you don't have friends?"

"Skye." He said shaking his head.

"Fine, fine." She said and turned back to the tv.

Skye woke to two cans of paint with "Happy Birthday!" balloons tied to their handles. She let out a groan. Birthdays were the worst no matter who she had spent it with. They were never like the ones on tv. And she had never woken up to balloons like this before. Skye pinched herself just to be sure. She was awake.

"You know, when people see this sort of thing, they smile." Phil said from her doorway.

"What type of person gets paint?"

"Just look at it."

She let out another groan and rolled out her bed. Skye had her Captain America pajamas on, he had a similar pair. Which they both wore together when they watched the old cartoons. A few sleepy steps and she dropped down to look at the color swab on the top. Purple, her favorite shade of it.

"You got me paint?"

"Yes and no." Phil answered, coming down the kneel on both knees in front of her. "It's been three months, Skye. The walls are still white. I'd like to adopt to. Of course, if you want me too."

Skye snapped her head up. "What? Did you... just?"

Phil nodded and she attacked him with a hug. "Yes, yes, yes!" Skye was never more happy to be crying. Maybe being hopeful wasn't so bad.

High school for Skye was to start in a week for her. Was she looking forward to it? Not one bit. Having Phil, Skye attempted to do better in school. Though, you could barely call her efforts better. She did enough to pass with C's and B's, and the occasional A. Her mouth got her in a lot of trouble, but Skye usually sweet talked her way out of detentions. Phil never really said anything. Instead he picked to give her frowns and disapproving looks when he thought she wouldn't notice. The looks always killed her. They were each others family, and Skye felt she was messing up everything.

Life with Phil was not perfect. A majority of time it was lonely. He trusted her enough, a very stupid thing to do, to take longer hours at work. Being 14 now, he let her stay in the apartment by herself as long as she called morning and night at the specific time and checked in with Mrs. Beverly, the old lady next door who always criticized Skye for her choice in clothes.

Often times she wondered what he was doing. Skye knew he had friends from the contact list on his phone that she had taken a peek at. Some names sounded familiar like Natasha and Clint. Fury, was just an odd name, though, it had come up a few times. Shield still remained a mystery to her. She had done a few web searches on their desktop at home, but all her searches came up with nothing. All she managed to get where stupid images of shield and all things like that that didn't do her any good.

Skye dropped the noddles in the pot. Spaghetti was the only thing that she could make without causing the smoke alarms to scream at her poor cooking skills. It was their little tradition that if Phil was gone for more than two days, she'd make spaghetti and they'd camp out in front of the tv and watch movies. Personally, she loved a good action or spy movie. Which was what they watched a lot. She loved them too because Phil always found something to critique about it that was wrong.

"Hey!" Skye called when she heard the door unlock. "Spaghetti's cooking."

He didn't say anything, just set his bag down and undid his tie.

"What?" She asked as she turned from the stove to face him. "Bad day?"

'We need to talk." He said quietly in a tone that sent shivers to her toes.

"A-About?"

"School. You."

School was not a particularity good subject with her.

"Skye, I've been supportive as I can with you. I know you act out and don't do the best in the school. It's understandable from what you have gone through, but there is a time where I have to put my foot down."

"O-kay." She turned back to the stove.

"Skye, I'm serious. Turn back around." That wasn't a tone you ignored and got away with.

Skye did as she was told, and bit down on her tongue. There were a lot of things she wanted to say. They'd only serve in getting her in trouble.

"No more, you understand? I expect more from you, Skye. You have a home, you're my daughter. You have something to look forward to. You have a future. I can't watch you throw it away."

"And if I don't?" She knew it was the wrong thing to ask. She hated expectations. Usually the ones given to her were the bad ones, the ones used to provoke pity from the privileged. Sometimes she liked to break them, but generally she played right into them. Statistically, Skye was just another orphaned kid with bad manners and grades to match.

"Skye, as I said again, I won't stand here and let you throw your life away. No one's been around to encourage you or to care." He sighed. "I don't know what to do with you."

"Just do what everybody else does. Return me, that's what happens to me. I get returned." Skye spun back to the stove and ignored him and the hot tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Skye Coulson, I would never return you or even think of such a monstrous thing." Phil pulled her away from the bubbling pot and against him into a hug. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "It'd be better for you if I was around more often."

"I'm almost 15." She attempted a laugh, but it sounded like a choked sob. "I don't need a parent watching me constantly."

"Uh, don't remind me. Makes me feel old."

"You are old."

"Every one's old too you."

"Phil," Skye said with a more serious tone, "What do you really do? I don't think Shield is an international banking firm."

"Dinner first. And then we'll talk."

Skye nodded.

Dinner was tense. Usually it was filled with laughter and smiles, but there was none of that now.

"You could poke the tension with a fork. In fact," Skye slid her fork from the plate and poked it in the air. "See that, it's tension." She sighed and dropped her fork back on the plate. "Can we just talk now?"

Phil nodded, and pushed his plate away. "Alright. I warn you now, Skye, that you may not like what you hear."

"I don't care, Phil. I think I need to hear it."

Phil nodded running a hand through his short hair. "You're right, Skye. This is something you need to hear." He shifted in his chair till he couldn't avoid the subject any longer. "Shield isn't a banking firm. It's stands for something else. Shield stands for: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."

"And that mean's what exactly? What do you do with a long ass name like that?"

"It means we keep the world safe, protect it from the unknown."

"So? Spy type stuff? James Bond?" Skye asked still a bit unsure of what it meant exactly.

"You watch to much tv, but in a way it does. It's not a safe thing, Skye. Not for me, and not for you."

Skye frowned. "Why isn't it safe for me?"

"I had to make a choice when Shield recruited me. I gave up a life that had happy endings, the one with school plays, parent teacher conferences, the whole lot. It made choices easier for me, you have to understand that. There's nothing pretty about what I do."

'So, why adopt me?" She was close to tears again. Skye hated crying, hated that feeling in the back of her throat, and the energy it took up.

"Are you sure you want the answer?"

Skye nodded, not trusting her mouth in fear of sobbing.

"You have a file, Skye. It isn't much, but I thought I could do some good. I though I could raise you."

"Does...does that mean you know who dropped me off? They just left me with a name." Her voice cracked at the end.

"I'm so sorry, Skye. I don't. But I promise you this, when you're older I'll help you find them. Is that okay?"

She nodded as she stood up, and hugged him collapsing against him. There was no holding the tears back now. He held her like no one else had ever done before.

Skye would love to say things got better after that. She graduated high school just barely. If Phil hadn't been there, she wouldn't have passed at all. Skye didn't have talents, not like Phil did. He tried his best to try to get her into something, something that help her interest. History was his fist instinct. It held his interests, but not hers. Skye didn't care about the old junk. She appreciated the people who stood before her, but it went only so far.

It wasn't till he brought home a beat up computer, that she realized there was something for her. He couldn't get it working, but after a few hours on her end, she found she could get it to turn on and work. It was then when she found her talent, computer science. Phil supported her as much as he could, but their time together became less and less.

He had work, and she had college believe it or not. Computer science was her only calling, but they had a major for it. Most students at her age, twenty two, would be going home for the four day break, but Skye and Coulson both had time. Captain American pajamas and cartoons.

Skye frowned at the emptiness of the apartment. She had made a point at getting there earlier, he was out of state, but had a flight back.

Passing the time was easy. His fridge was way too empty and what little it was filled with was way too healthy. She went down to the grocery store and stocked up on all the necessary junk foods. Then, she explored the apartment. It was nice now that he didn't keep as many secrets. Skye wasn't a big fan of it, she felt that the knowledge he knew should be shared across the public. But they didn't talk about that because it always ended up in arguments. Phil shared the small things. It was a balancing act, but it worked.

She flopped on the couch with a sigh and flicked the tv on. It was the news, of course.

"Hey, AC!" It stood for Agent Coulson, she started using it when she knew more about Shield, and it was a common greeter for her to use.

"Skye, I need you to listen."

"Phil?" His tone worried her. Did he know something? He had started to help figure out her parentage, but it was slow going with his lack of time and the promise to do it together yet they were apart most of the time now.

"Skye, what happens you stay in doors. Don't leave. You understand? Somethings happening, something big. I don't understand it myself right now, but I need you to just stay at the apartment. Stay till I'll call or I'll send someone from Shield."

"Phil! What's going on?"

He didn't answer, he had hung up.

She doesn't get it till it's all over the news. Skye called and called his phone, but he never answered. It was just the same voice mail that greeted her instead.

It's the second day, when a knock sounds on the door. Skye ran to the door, and threw it open with out bothering to check who it is first.

Standing out front is a women dressed in black with fiery red hair, and an expression that would haunt Skye forever.

"Skye?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "That's me. Is everything alright with Phil?" The woman hadn't said anything about him, but Skye just knew it was about him. It was the only thing that made sense.

"I'm Agent Romanoff. I worked with Phil."

'Where is he? Is he alright?"

"Let's sit." She moved past Skye and sat down on the couch, in Phil's spot of all places.

Skye sat across from her, barely breathing, barely blinking. Scared.

"I'm sorry, Skye. Phil was killed in action."

She took a deep breath like it might prevent the flood of on coming tears. But it didn't. "Oh god. No. No, he's perfectly fine. He has to be fine."

"I'm sorry. I really am-"

"Out! Get out!"

Romanoff placed something on the coffee table, and let herself out. The item she left behind was Phil's badge. Skye clutched it to her chest that night when she fell asleep on the couch that night to Captain America cartoons.

Skye had always wanted to meet the contacts on his phone. Finally, she had chance to meet them, but she didn't go to the funeral. She didn't go to his grave till the service ended, till it was just her and the gravestones.

She was gone by the time Agent Romanoff came to check up on her again.

Skye and Phil had always disagreed with what the public should no. She disagreed with Shield. She disagreed with a lot of things, with the world.

It was only two and half years of schooling, she had enrolled late, but it was enough. It wasn't enough to damage, but when Miles came around and showed her the figurative ropes, well Skye learned a lot of things.

She learned that the man who raised her as his own wasn't dead. It had hit hard when she found out. She was looking into experiments and there he was just, a tiny thread of computer code. A tiny thread that Skye pulled on till she got enough answers to know that we alive.'

Skye was furious to a degree, but not because she wasn't told about it. They couldn't tell her. She whipped herself off the grid. She was Skye with no last name.


End file.
